rneerkat:

“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”

(via zachlilley)


2 days ago // 414,856 notes

sadsk8r:

doctors: why are all your bones broken
me: totally gnarly kick flip
doctors: fucking savage bro

(Source: nicenewt, via zachlilley)


2 days ago // 149,476 notes

lordkat:

lordkat:

can i have a fork

image

do you have a metal one

image

i planned this for days guys why wont you love me

(via best-text-posts)


5 days ago // 197,427 notes
My last couple of days in #ElSalvador
Roatan, Honduras for the weekend.

genderedboy:

"Why do you want this job?"

Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.

(via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 222,833 notes

vulpiss:

egberts:

BATHTUBS ARE JUST REVERSE BOATS

Omg

(via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 239,401 notes

andrewjacksonjihads:

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

(via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 179,932 notes

forgetyeahcomics:

“do you have a girlfriend?”

“no but sometimes people on the internet flirt with me and I have no idea how serious they are about it”

(Source: punkasfrick, via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 242,540 notes

221bitssmallerontheoutside:

mooitstimdrake:

shinybulbasaurs:

shinybulbasaurs:

i tripped over a bra today

i think it was a booby trap

image

That was like the biggest plot twist of my life

(Source: hawluchas, via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 306,170 notes

radgoku:

original-poster:

radgoku:

the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????

As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening

i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed

(via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 82,887 notes

bewbin:

thefinestlad:

bewbin:

I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?

This dick

oh thank god i thought i missed something big 

(via best-text-posts)


2 weeks ago // 318,912 notes