"Why do you want this job?"
Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.
i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair
“do you have a girlfriend?”
“no but sometimes people on the internet flirt with me and I have no idea how serious they are about it”
i tripped over a bra today
i think it was a booby trap
That was like the biggest plot twist of my life
the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????
As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening
i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed
I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?
oh thank god i thought i missed something big
jesus, take the wheel. now put it in first - no, put the clutch in and - jesus, what the fuck, you said you could drive stick
but also fuck bowser
someone’s building an actual Krusty Krab less than 6 miles from where i live
no really, it’s in construction
it’s coming along nicely
they put up the flags
dont u hate it when u have a romantic dream about someone who u never thought about in a romantic way and then u wake up and have some weird crush on them like wtf subconscious why u gotta do this to me